i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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