Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
