I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
