even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
