ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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