1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
