I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it