i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.