Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall