i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.