I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just googled if crying burns calories
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
