I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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