I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
