yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
