Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize