I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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