It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
