Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize