I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
