Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
