you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
