I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
