I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?