My brain says no but my pants say off.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.