think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
wow bdsm is so cute
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