She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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