your parents love me but you hate me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
They are going to name an STD after you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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