My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I deserve this hangover.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
