She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I could fuck to npr.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
