Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
