So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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