Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
