So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
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I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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