Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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