So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
