I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize