dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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