i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
