if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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