Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
