so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
