Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
