Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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