Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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