yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
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Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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