I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
