I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Two words: blizzard sex
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
