is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
