yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
