This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
