Fine. I'll sleep in my office
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
