Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This baby is an asshole
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
