I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
