I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
