We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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