Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
