I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Shame is for Republicans.
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