Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
