i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
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You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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