I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
