I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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