oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
