Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
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For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
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Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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