he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
