What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
