I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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