worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
