This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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